De grap van de oversekste parodie/tribute/originele band Steel Panther is nog steeds niet afgelopen. 27 september brengen zanger Michael Starr, gitarist Satchel, bassist Lexxi Foxx en drummer Stix Zadinia album vijf uit: Heavy Metal Rules.
De tracklisting is als volgt:
- Zebraman
- All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight)
- Let’s Get High Tonight
- Always Gonna Be A Ho
- I’m Not Your Bitch
- Fuck Everybody
- Heavy Metal Rules
- Sneaky Little Bitch
- Gods Of Pussy
- I Ain’t Buying What You’re Selling
Heavy Metal Rules is zoals gebruikelijk in de wereld van Steel Panther opgenomen in de garage van de moeder van Lexxi Foxx en de mannen mailden Zware Metalen hun gedachten over de nieuwe plaat:
“I can’t play what Satchel does, so we got a fucking Bitchin’ studio musician to do the bass,” states Lexxi. “The studio musician killed it. We had one of my strongest photo shoots , because I had some Botox and got my highlights done right before. I’m still staying with my mom. If this goes well, I’ll be able to get my own apartment.”
“The lead guitar is really in – your – face,” adds Satchel. “We left out a lot of the rhythm guitar. It’s easier to hear the solos. They don’t suck either.”
“What Jay got out of the record sonically is our best,” Stix Zadinia elaborates. “There are hooks all over it. It’s the perfect Steel Panther album.”
Look no further than the first single All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight). A thick beat gives way to a gang vocal backed by heavy riffs and a message of self-empowerment…
“You want to fuck yourself, because you can’t find anybody hotter,” frontman Michael Starr says. “When you see a band on stage, the first thing you notice is what they’re wearing or what they look like. If you’re getting ready, you want to make sure chicks want to fuck you, but you want to fuck yourself. Once people are attracted by the look, they get trapped by the fucking infectious music of our songs. Looks are the most important thing. It’s what’s on the outside that really matters.”
Acoustic guitar builds towards a lovelorn lamentation on Always Gonna Be A Ho, which , as Michael puts it, “Is about this one chick who had a problem fucking everybody I know”
He adds “All of the guys in the band are attracted to strippers, because we basically have the same lifestyle. We perform for people who want to fuck us, but we also do it for the love of fucking being on”stage. Girls just want to get laid too. Some girls say, ‘Oh, Steel Panther are a bunch of whores.’ Well, the reality is so are you!”
The thunderous climax on Gods of Pussy details the burden of “getting as much pussy as Steel Panther gets. ” Meanwhile, Fuck Everybody rails against injustices of “some dick going 20 miles in the fast lane” or “having to wait at Starbucks.”
“Heavy metal rules,” reiterates Stix. “You don’t like it. Suck my dick.”
If things keep going as well as they are, you’ll have to get in line…
“We’re going to write about sex, drugs, and all of the Bitchin’ shit from the 80s we love,” Satchel leaves off. “It’s a great feeling to be in this band. We have a blast. We love each other. We’ve been through a lot together. We’ll keep on rocking until one of us breaks a hip or some shit.”
“We really do love heavy metal and performing,” Michael concludes. “We’re going to fucking conquer the world the Steel Panther way. Heavy metal is coming back. Pretty soon, everyone’s going to have long hair and wear spandex.”
“Can I just say we all look fantastic as well?” interrupts Lexxi (as everyone else leaves). “We’re doing our part to bring heavy metal to the messes. Do some occasional drugs to keep yourself okay on the inside, fuck as much as possible, and oh yeah, Heavy Metal Rules .”
Steel Panther, foto: David Jackson
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